1 00:00:09,900 --> 00:00:14,900 The Night Nurse 2 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,914 - Relax! Relax! - Ahh! 3 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,750 It's nothing, I just put a hole in your jacket. 4 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:28,515 Rest, I'm going to greet a new customer. 5 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:31,917 That's my niece! She arrived yesterday from Rome. 6 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:36,114 You should have said something sooner! I would have brought her in. 7 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:38,311 Relax! 8 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:43,390 Good morning Miss. Please come in. 9 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,716 - Hello. - I'm Angela. 10 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:52,914 - You're the niece? - Yes. - Your aunt is like a child! 11 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,112 - She whines constantly! - She's afraid. 12 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,920 Excuse me, miss. 13 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:06,715 - Here is your niece! - Thank you. - So calm down. 14 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:10,436 - We try again. Do you have dental problems? - Fortunately no. 15 00:01:11,140 --> 00:01:12,664 - A cavity in your canine? - No. 16 00:01:12,689 --> 00:01:14,356 - Let me tell you something funny. 17 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:17,360 Every five canines you get a free bulldog! 18 00:01:18,460 --> 00:01:21,710 Peppino, Get the dentures! 19 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:26,312 - It must be these. - Is it all here? - Yup. 20 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,512 One moment. Here, madam. 21 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,719 Open your mouth... There! 22 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,116 It looks like Dracula! 23 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:40,438 It's rubbish, there must be a mistake. 24 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,032 Come closer. 25 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:50,117 - Goodbye. Come back any time. - See you soon, Doctor. 26 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,676 - Bring your beautiful niece! - See you later. 27 00:01:54,840 --> 00:02:01,519 Santa Imelda of the Dolomites, give her gingivitis! I can heal her! 28 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,237 My love! 29 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:12,718 Asshole! You're flirting with young girls now!? 30 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:18,233 She's a tasteless girl, I was just having a little conversation. 31 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:23,913 - I'm sick of making love here! - This is the only place we can be alone. 32 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:28,114 My wife never comes here, this is my kingdom. 33 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:32,109 You'll see! We will make love eight times like bunnies! 34 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:36,712 I will be an organ that vibrates for you and for me! 35 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,911 I found the right dentures. 36 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,715 However you got the wrong moment! 37 00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:48,630 - Really? - Can not you see I'm... working? 38 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,912 - I'm doing a filling. - What about me? 39 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:55,317 As a child she had a... 40 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:58,512 None of your business! Go away! 41 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,313 It's none of my business. 42 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:03,319 Where did that frog come from? 43 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:07,912 Peppino is a little prick, it does not matter. We think about us! 44 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,111 Sit down! 45 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:14,715 St. Sabino Di Canosa, you are meaty! 46 00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:18,311 I show you a new position of the Kamasutra... aaahhh! 47 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:20,511 Are you getting turned on? 48 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:27,959 It's a new armchair, I do not know how it works yet. 49 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,503 Why are you leaning me back? 50 00:03:31,529 --> 00:03:32,942 -Look at the lamp. -Why? 51 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:35,555 To make it like an operating room. Let's try. 52 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:38,791 Hurry up! 53 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,992 - Do you know what I have prepared? - Pasta and broccoli. 54 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,919 - How did you get it? - The aroma. 55 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:49,637 The neighbour below asked "Have you repaired the sewer?" 56 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:52,912 Sewer! She is a sewer! 57 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:56,078 - Do you like it? - Yes, everyone likes it, even to Carlino! 58 00:03:56,280 --> 00:04:00,319 - Screw her if she didn't like it! - Regina calm down! 59 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:04,514 Is she an expert in culinary art!? 60 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:08,475 She does not understand shit! 61 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,674 Hurry up, it's half past eight and I have to go out. 62 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:16,874 - Go dancing? - No, Wednesday I have the Pharmacology exam. 63 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:21,074 - I can not waste time with dancing. - Love, I would like cheese. 64 00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:24,477 - We have to fire Regina! - Yes. Yes. 65 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:30,117 Forget about Pharmacology, you have to study "feminology"! 66 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:33,431 Bring a woman, we make a duet father and son. 67 00:04:33,457 --> 00:04:36,500 We put her in the bathtub with her tits... 68 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:39,115 The cheese. 69 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,311 Two teaspoons. 70 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,511 You need to have fun... 71 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:50,717 - So he becomes a womanizing toothpuller like you. - Do not call me "toothpuller" 72 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:54,231 I am good and gentle, but if I get angry... 73 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,432 - I'll be good. - Always the same story! 74 00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,995 - Later I will bring you a sandwich. 75 00:05:00,021 --> 00:05:02,375 - Remember the garbage. - Yes. Yes. 76 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,909 - Doctor, how lucky to meet you! - Who me? 77 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,503 - Yes, I need advice. Come with me. 78 00:05:16,529 --> 00:05:19,219 - But I... - Just a moment. 79 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:25,910 Come sit. Excuse me if I take advantage, but I have very strong pains. 80 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:30,114 I am a fourth year student, I am not a doctor. 81 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,311 What does it matter? 82 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:37,720 I am a "Mrs." but my husband is never around. 83 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,514 He is never here and when he is, he sleeps. 84 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:45,112 You seem very intelligent and maybe you can give me some advice. 85 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,709 I'm in pain from here... 86 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:51,515 all the way down to here. 87 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:56,271 - It takes my breath away. - Me too. 88 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,796 Touch it. Feel that swelling. 89 00:05:58,822 --> 00:06:01,136 I need a massage, but I can't reach it myself. 90 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,790 And then I'd like to show it to you. 91 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,274 What? 92 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,472 The ointment. Wait, doctor. 93 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:21,558 - Who is this boxer? - That's my husband. 94 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:38,313 The doctor prescribed this for me. But... 95 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:40,511 Where did he go? 96 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,633 What a crazy thing! He left the trash. 97 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:59,313 Hey! Hey! 98 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,478 - Why do you talk to me that way? - Sorry. 99 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,672 - Is it a telegram? - Yes, but there is nobody. 100 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,918 - I'll take it back. - No, it might be urgent. 101 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:11,236 It's none of your business! 102 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,717 It's a dental office, it's closed. 103 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:19,596 - So I'm an asshole? - Give me the telegram. - No! 104 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:23,953 Why are you shouting? I'm Dr. Pischella. 105 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,226 You should have said it right away! 106 00:07:26,252 --> 00:07:28,816 Excuse me... I want proof. 107 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,996 Let's look in the eyes... 108 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:38,320 Forget it. That's a studio with an adjoining house... 109 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:41,911 ...and this is a house with an adjoining study clear? - No. 110 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,191 Excuse me for a moment. 111 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:49,915 This is all stupid! 112 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:54,114 I'll try again, maybe he was in the bathroom. 113 00:07:56,480 --> 00:08:00,519 - Here I am! I'm the dentist. - Telegram, doctor. 114 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:06,352 Next door there is a madman who looks a lot like you. 115 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:09,712 He's my twin brother, but he's an asshole. 116 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:13,276 - He's a postman. - Like me! - Exactly. 117 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:20,392 "Arrival tomorrow from Milan at 10 o'clock. Uncle Saverio." 118 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:25,311 Ah! Uncle Saverio is Uncle... of my aunt... 119 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:26,874 Who the fuck is he? 120 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:32,075 - He is daddy's brother! - In short, he's your uncle. 121 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,510 Look. 122 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:37,712 He spent two years in Africa in Dire Daua. 123 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:42,312 - He couldn't stay in Italy to say "Daua"? - Stop! 124 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:45,911 - Here he is at Baptism. - He was baptized late. 125 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:50,114 At my baptism! He's an exceptional man, nice, sweet. 126 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,914 - He's a "pleasure-seeker". - I had guessed. 127 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:57,717 He spent all his money and now comes to us. 128 00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:59,416 No, he's a rich man. 129 00:08:59,442 --> 00:09:01,137 A "ricchione"(fag)! That's even worse. 130 00:09:01,220 --> 00:09:05,214 - They have to pay to frolic. - I tell you he's rich! 131 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,311 And I'm his only relative. 132 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,115 You are beautiful, sweet, long as a highway... 133 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:15,365 ...but you have a bird's brain, believing everything that anyone tells you! 134 00:09:15,391 --> 00:09:16,738 You eat everything up! 135 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:21,915 - Surely your uncle is not rich. - He got rich in Dire Daua. 136 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,116 How much money do you get each time you say "Daua"? 137 00:09:25,142 --> 00:09:26,139 Stop that! 138 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:28,914 Fuck you and your uncle! 139 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,316 - Did I ever lie to you? - No. 140 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:35,991 - In the end, I say that uncle is a billionaire. - Really? 141 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:52,549 It's 12:12 pm and it still isn't here. 142 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,716 - Well? - He wasn't there! 143 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,309 - Did you go to the airport? - Of course. 144 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:09,309 - Did you page Saverio Baghetti? - Yes, Baghetti. 145 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:13,912 Look me in the face when I speak to you! You make me nervous. 146 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:17,909 - Something happened to him. - Peppino is here. 147 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:21,238 The snob took a taxi! 148 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:25,114 - Please, doctor! - Thank you. 149 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:30,317 He wasn't on the train from Milan. 150 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,716 - Why did you do that? - You're an asshole! 151 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:36,151 - Why did you get a taxi? - You told me to. 152 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,357 If uncle Saverio was there. Was he there? 153 00:10:38,383 --> 00:10:40,379 - No. - Then you shouldn't have got a taxi. 154 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:48,912 - What's this? - Did you call the ambulance for a slap? 155 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:55,312 - What happened? - We're looking for Dr. Pischella. 156 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:57,909 - Right in front of you. - It's him! 157 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:02,159 - No it's me. - Giovanni, it's him! 158 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,716 - It's me. - I told him that it is you. 159 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,036 - Come on, Giovanni! - Let's see. 160 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:17,781 - Who is it? - Mr. Saverio Baghetti. 161 00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:19,878 Baghetti? Uncle Saverio! 162 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,513 - Uncle Saverio? - What luck! 163 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:26,718 - He's alive? - Of course, I'll show you. 164 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:31,153 - Let's do the mirror test. - What do you mean? 165 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,749 Watch. 166 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,952 - The mirror is fogged up. - So? 167 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,800 - What does that mean? - You need a windshield wiper. 168 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,150 No, it means that he breathing! 169 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,239 - He's alive. - Yippee! - Luckily! 170 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:48,353 - Where do we take him? - To the second floor. 171 00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:53,316 As soon as he arrives, he already costs me 1,300,000 lire! 172 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:57,718 Don't be petty and do not scream, you'll wake him... 173 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:01,914 ...and if you have good intentions... - What good intentions? 174 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:06,114 I understand everything, he's here for a handout. 175 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:10,712 He has reached old age and since he has spent everything... 176 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:15,517 ... he decided to come and die in my house! 177 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,712 - Aaahhh! - He's waking up. - He's alive! 178 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,911 Uncle! 179 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:25,516 What a beautiful site! 180 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:28,519 - What? - Oh, what a beautiful site! 181 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,593 - I'm in heaven? - Almost. 182 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,110 - It should be any time now. - Pietro! 183 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,631 - Pietro! - Who is Pietro? 184 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,354 - Keys. - Huh? 185 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:46,475 - The keys to paradise. - I do not have it. Pietro has gone out. 186 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:50,913 Do not you remember Lucia, your little niece? 187 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:55,717 Of course, I remember! My little Lucia! 188 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:58,912 My baby... my you have grown up! 189 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:02,511 - And keeps growing! - Come on, give me a kiss. 190 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:04,916 - Uncle! 191 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,715 - Enough, uncle! - Is that Pietro? - No, he's my husband. 192 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:12,595 - I'm Nicola Pischella. - Come! 193 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:17,556 - Give him a kiss too. - No that's ok. - Give it to him! 194 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:22,311 Your microbes are nothing compared to my germs! 195 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,670 GONAGOCCI, BIGOCCI, TRIGOCCI... 196 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:35,514 - Madonna, save me from this virus! - I only have you in the world! 197 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:39,600 I have no more. I'm happy to die here! 198 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,791 What a kind thought! 199 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:45,994 Also I did not know who to leave all my money to. 200 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:50,910 I called the notary from Milan. 201 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:55,318 - Tomorrow he comes to settle everything. - Thanks Uncle! 202 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:59,514 Leave the pleasantries alone, otherwise he will tire. 203 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:03,714 He already has the "icy little hand"! I don't know if he'll make it to tomorrow. 204 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:07,914 Uncle, I'll find a pretty nurse for tonight. 205 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:10,634 I'll find her! 206 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,194 Oh God! Help! 207 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:21,314 - The monster! - What happened? Hurry! 208 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:27,110 - Uncle Saverio! What happened? 209 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:30,711 - I saw a monster. - Where is it? - There! 210 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:34,595 - I do not even want to look at it. - Do not overdo it... 211 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:39,112 - Madonna! - How do you feel? - Bad! I want my doctor. 212 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,230 Disinfect... 213 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,191 We cover you up... 214 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,310 Soon you will see... 215 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:58,112 You will see that after this injection, he will sleep peacefully. 216 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:02,314 - So we sleep too. - Doctor, tell us how he is. 217 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:08,038 In my clinical opinion... his condition is not good. 218 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:13,110 - Then he is dying? - No No. At night let him sleep, do not disturb him. 219 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:16,711 Then the night nurse does not help? 220 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:22,313 No, send her away! He must sleep alone. 221 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,316 Who is that? 222 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:48,229 Fortunately she warns me when she passes! 223 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,511 Where is it? 224 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,711 There it is! 225 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,351 I need a chair. 226 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:26,631 Which one is it? I'll snap it off. 227 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,311 Let's try this one. 228 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,917 Will this be it? Maybe. 229 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:42,151 It's so beautiful! 230 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,711 I was about to fall. 231 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,911 Damn! 232 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:53,111 - Hurry! - Why? 233 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,711 He must have died. Here is the body! 234 00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:00,197 - What happened? - What happened? 235 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,391 - It happened. - It happened. 236 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:06,719 - I was going to pee... - The bathroom. - It's back there! 237 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:11,232 I am not used to the house yet! 238 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:15,957 - He is not used to the house yet. - I hit the chair and fell. 239 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:20,313 - He needs a nurse. - But a real nurse this time! 240 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:38,312 - Excuse me, I'm looking for a nurse. - What's Her name? - I do not know. 241 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:42,514 - So why are you looking for her? - I have to find a nurse. 242 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:46,509 - You need a nurse! - She must be beautiful... 243 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,712 In fact, she must be... No She's no good. 244 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,911 She must be beautiful! 245 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:55,112 - Is this for a Miss Enema pageant or what?? - No! 246 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,915 - She must assist an old man at night. - Imagine that! 247 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:03,193 Our nurses usually assist a young man... 248 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,119 ...or a old doctor. 249 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,314 She's fucking hot! 250 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:20,153 She is a gynecology nurse. 251 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,531 - Just go! - Really? 252 00:18:21,557 --> 00:18:23,138 - Go! - Thank you Doctor. 253 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,357 Miss! Miss! 254 00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,560 - What's wrong with you? - I'm going to do research. 255 00:18:30,586 --> 00:18:35,931 - Let's take him for observation. - No they'll give me a shot in the ass! 256 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:39,914 - Where have you been? - They kept me under observation! 257 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,928 Did they observe how much you're an asshole? 258 00:18:42,954 --> 00:18:44,139 - May we come in? - Good morning! 259 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:46,914 - How are you? Miss! 260 00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:50,511 Take a seat, I'll be right there. Come here. 261 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:54,714 Go to work and tell my wife I do not want a nurse. 262 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:59,915 - Do you need a nurse? - It was my wife's idea. 263 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:05,513 Uncle Saverio from Milan has arrived... 264 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,870 In short, I do not want the nurse. 265 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:11,516 Pity! My niece... 266 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:14,189 Aunt, leave it alone. 267 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:19,156 - What about your niece? - She's a nurse, but if you don't need one... 268 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:23,718 What? A nurse is necessary for us! 269 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:27,709 We must have a nurse! 270 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:33,199 If she wants. Sometimes things just work out... 271 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:38,110 - Let's go there and get on with it. - Excuse me Dr but what about my dentures? 272 00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:43,713 You're beautiful like that, do not worry about it! 273 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,116 - Really? - Of course. Here we go. 274 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:50,951 - Let's go. - Is your aunt coming too? - Yes! Upsadaisy! 275 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:54,312 You are a feather, madam! Give me your arm. 276 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:58,434 You will not regret it, my baby is very good! 277 00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:00,517 - Uncle! - What is it? 278 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,711 I wanted to introduce you... 279 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:04,200 Who is it? 280 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,552 - The new night nurse. - Her? 281 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,513 - Yes. - Beautiful! Very beautiful! 282 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:13,712 You are very kind, but do not trouble yourself. 283 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:17,117 - What beautiful hands! - The dead have risen. 284 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:20,312 - The doctor's prescriptions? - They are there, on the dresser. 285 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,911 Lucia, come. I have to talk to you. 286 00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:27,317 - Tell me. - I made a big mistake. 287 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,911 - What? - I did something that I'm ashamed of. 288 00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:34,317 - You peed. - Worse! - Poop. - Worse! - Pee and poop. 289 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:38,309 - No. When the notary came... - You pee. 290 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:41,911 You peed together... what are you telling me? 291 00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:45,829 When the notary came, I made a will... ...in favor of the Discalced Carmelites! 292 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:52,116 - No! - Shut up, my head hurts! 293 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:56,314 What will the Carmelites buy with the billions? Shoes? 294 00:20:56,520 --> 00:21:00,957 If the founder wanted them barefoot, let's leave them that way! 295 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,278 Yesterday I was very angry. 296 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:09,316 When I saw that nasty monster you got me... 297 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:14,754 ...I thought you did it on purpose to make me have a heart attack. 298 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:19,238 We did not do it on purpose. The money is yours... 299 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:23,718 ...and you can leave them to whoever you want. - No, the law is clear! 300 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:27,914 Fair rent, usufruct... Whe he dies he must leave us everything! 301 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:33,718 Code of Criminal Procedure, paragraph 5, sub paragraph 4... 302 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:38,756 - Now you have to take these drops. - Yes, for sleep. 303 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:43,079 They make me sleep immediately. To your health. 304 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:50,549 Beautiful! These drops are good. 305 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,752 They work right away. 306 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:57,271 - Go to sleep. - You too. - I stay with the young lady. 307 00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:01,189 - There's no need. - Yes, yes. Go! 308 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:04,119 - One moment. - Go to sleep! 309 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:09,190 - I decide if I'm sleepy or... - What? - I am sleepy. 310 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,391 Good night. 311 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:18,196 - Carlo, what are you doing? - Studying. 312 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:22,712 - Have you seen the new night nurse? - No. 313 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,719 - She's hot! - Is she fat? 314 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:30,710 - No, she's got great big boobs! - You like that, do you? - Of course! 315 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:34,914 Go look. As soon as you see her, you will forget the books. 316 00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:38,238 I'm studying, you go to her. 317 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:43,514 Sometimes I get angry because I doubt you are my son. 318 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:48,920 You are never excited, you are always tense, tight, and left handed. 319 00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:52,317 You do not look like me at all. As soon as I see tits... 320 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,512 ...my brain explodes with excitement! 321 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:59,998 I'm not saying you have to jump on all women like a rabbit... 322 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,714 Ours is a healthy family. 323 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:07,596 But there are plenty of other things to do with a woman. 324 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,711 Do I have to teach you? 325 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:32,117 Eh.. 326 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,153 - Where are you going? - Shut up I... 327 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:42,314 - I was looking for cigarettes. - On your knees? 328 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:46,514 - Yes, I do not have slippers. - Where are they usually? 329 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,360 - I do not know. - They're in the cigarette case. 330 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,916 - Where is the cigarette case? - Where is it? - Over there! 331 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:57,273 - I can give you mine. - Thanks Miss. Aahh! 332 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:01,075 My elbow! What a pain! 333 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,317 - Here you go. - Thank you. 334 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:10,270 Love, you're uncomfortable on that chair. 335 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:14,713 Uncle is asleep, go to bed. I'll stay in here. 336 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:18,515 No? I'm talking bullshit. It does not matter. 337 00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:25,518 It's better if I go to bed. She is southern and jealous. 338 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:30,715 - Good night. - If you need me, you know where to find me. 339 00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:37,039 - Who is it? - Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs! 340 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,470 Do not worry, go back to sleep. 341 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:50,993 - I was just coming up to see you. - Me? - Come in for a moment. 342 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:55,512 - If it's for that pain, I do not... - It's for the faucet. 343 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:59,759 - I'm not a plumber. - But it's so high! 344 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:04,318 I've been left without water, I can not even make coffee. 345 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,558 Yesterday the plumber came, a good boy. 346 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,752 He shut it off up there to do the repair... 347 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:15,158 ...and forgot to turn it back on. And I can't do it. 348 00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:17,715 I can try. 349 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,670 Yes, try it! 350 00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:41,637 - Done! - You're very tall. I like that. 351 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,832 - You're naked? - I have to take a bath. 352 00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,111 Simpatico! 353 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:51,154 I really... I should go to university. 354 00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:55,479 - Are you sure? - Fuck it! I'll go tomorrow! 355 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:09,916 - Who is that? - My husband. 356 00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:13,238 - I have to go! - He immediately goes back to bed. 357 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:17,991 - I'm sorry, I have to go. - He is jealous, the little darling. 358 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:29,352 Carletto! Where are you running to? 359 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,716 Can I come in? 360 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,036 Is anyone there? 361 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:39,313 - Who is it? - Good morning, I'm Pischella, the dentist. 362 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:41,636 I saw my son who... 363 00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:47,677 I thought something had happened. Aaaaahh! 364 00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:00,117 - Why aren't they opening this window? - You should come over here. 365 00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:04,678 I've been waiting for twenty minutes! I have to submit a question. 366 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:09,477 - Back of the line. - She arrived before you! 367 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:14,675 - Hey baby, do you need the pimp? - No, your sister does. 368 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:18,316 It's dangerous to argue. If you come across a drug addict... 369 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:22,718 I punch him on the nose! That'll do it, believe me. 370 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,117 - You were kind, thank you. - It was nothing. 371 00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:29,711 - How are your studies going? - I do not have to take exams. 372 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,912 I just had to register for a course. It's not important. 373 00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:37,717 On the 15th I have the Pharmacology exam, but I am already at a good point. 374 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:41,709 - Can I see you sometime? - I'd love to. 375 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,309 - Tonight? - Yes! 376 00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:48,115 I mean no, I can't go out in the evening. 377 00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:51,915 Then we can meet in the afternoon. 378 00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:56,717 I would, but I'll be very tired. Better not. 379 00:27:56,920 --> 00:28:00,117 All right, I'll bring another to dance. 380 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:04,314 Coward! If you do, I'll punch you in the nose! 381 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,319 Nicola! it's me. 382 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:11,115 Hurry up, I have to go to the hairdresser. 383 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,119 Why didn't you call me yesterday? 384 00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:17,711 - Good morning! - The doctor? - He's not here. 385 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:22,312 - Where did he go? - He was in a hurry, he did not even give me a slap. 386 00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:26,514 - Asshole! - He calls me that too. - No, I'm talking about him! 387 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:31,715 - He makes me come here and then he's not there. what do I do? - I'm here! 388 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,912 - Let me help you undress. - Pig! How dare you? 389 00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:40,320 Mrs! Zaira! It was to console you for coming for nothing. 390 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:45,117 - If you say another word, I'll give you another one! - No! 3 is bad luck! 391 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:50,520 There are four. I hope one of them is the right one. 392 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:55,317 Do not say anything! These peasants, they are crafty. 393 00:28:55,520 --> 00:29:00,117 If need be, tonight I break off more. I took a hit! 394 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:04,712 Right here. But I'll continue until I find it. 395 00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:08,470 - How do I look? - Very well. - I want to see. 396 00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:13,917 Can you see the beard? 397 00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:16,185 - Of course. - Can you see it's fake? 398 00:29:16,211 --> 00:29:18,742 - No, it looks real. - Good! 399 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,036 It looks real. 400 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:25,312 Thank you Doctor! 401 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:29,912 - Do me a favor? - Yes. - Tell my niece to come in. 402 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:32,714 - Immediately. - Thank you! 403 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:37,912 - The notary also has a foot in the grave. - Thank you. - Come in, madam. 404 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:43,194 - He asked for his niece. - She's not my niece, she's my wife. 405 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:48,236 - My other half. - What a situation! - You are a notary, do... 406 00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:51,080 - What are you doing ? Bounces? - Please, take a seat. 407 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:56,229 - Dear uncle, new day, new life! - Very well! 408 00:29:56,440 --> 00:30:01,719 I am glad to have remedied a serious injustice. 409 00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:07,120 - Nicola, I canceled the old testament. - The Bible. 410 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:11,314 - I have made a new will in your favor. - Thanks, Moses! Thanks uncle! 411 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:19,115 BOOM! Dance with me! 412 00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:36,199 Wake up, guys! Tonight it looks like a dormitory! 413 00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:40,593 Are you having fun? 414 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:43,792 Very much! I have not been here for a long time! 415 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:48,915 - Do you not have a boyfriend? - No. - How is it possible? 416 00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:53,114 - I did not like feeling tied up. - Would you like it now? 417 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,311 What time is it? 418 00:30:55,520 --> 00:31:00,117 - Five to nine. - At nine o'clock I have to go! 419 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,709 Are you Cinderella? 420 00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:07,118 - So you are the prince charming. - He was a peasant! 421 00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:11,314 - I'll accompany you. - No, my uncle comes to get me. 422 00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:17,118 - It's a nuisance. - I understand why you do not have a boyfriend. 423 00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:19,550 This does not concern you. 424 00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:35,912 - Miss. - Sorry for the delay. 425 00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:39,317 Be calm, here the master is me. 426 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:43,309 In addition, the old man will be already dead at this hour. 427 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:47,036 Let's think about the living! "Jump if you can ", as Sara Simeoni says. 428 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:50,517 It's the Vienna Philharmonic! 429 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:54,111 - How is he? - He sleeps like a buffalo. 430 00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:58,712 - I gave him the sleeping pill. - He always sleeps, what was the need? 431 00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:03,756 "Better abundant than deficient", as Dante says! 432 00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:06,315 Come in, miss. 433 00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:11,117 - I have plans for you. - Which plans? 434 00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:14,312 You are beautiful and good... 435 00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:18,115 Listen to the buffalo. He already has the rattle of the corpse. 436 00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:22,518 He will last 2 weeks tops. Instead you interest me. 437 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:27,317 You have the body of a technician. 438 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:31,309 My friend has a dental school. 439 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:36,310 - I send you, then come to work with me. - Do you smoke? It's harmful! 440 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:41,310 - I have the filter. - Not to me, to him! - He's already a corpse. 441 00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:43,716 So... 442 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:49,120 My position is a little awkward, it's hard to talk here. 443 00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:52,915 Let's go to a quiet place, a restaurant. 444 00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:58,115 Tomorrow, at half past one, we'll meet at the Grotta Palazzesi. 445 00:32:58,320 --> 00:32:59,921 - Yes, the restaurant by the sea? 446 00:32:59,947 --> 00:33:01,636 - Yes. We can eat lobster 447 00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,599 - Nicola! - Yes my love? - What are you doing? 448 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:09,710 I was talking to her about a new drug. 449 00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:13,709 - It's time for bed. - In fact it is a sleeping pill... 450 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:17,959 Goodbye. She is jealous, she is southern. If you need... 451 00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:24,838 - Who is it? - Brother Tazio of Velletri! - Let him in. 452 00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:28,911 Good night. 453 00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:34,433 So, miss... 454 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:40,117 - That man is my husband! - Yes, of course... 455 00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:44,712 - But believe me... - That was a disgusting scene! 456 00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:49,915 In my house you must behave, otherwise you'll be fired! 457 00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:53,511 - You can't treat me that way! - Indeed I can. 458 00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:56,314 No! No. 459 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:58,511 No, no! 460 00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:03,954 You know what? Tomorrow I'll call the notary, I rip up the will... 461 00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:07,835 ...and I change everything! Now go to bed. 462 00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:09,838 But, uncle... 463 00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:12,031 Go to bed! 464 00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,511 Good night. 465 00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:36,069 Miss, I see you're uptight! Smile, let's drink! 466 00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:43,712 I came here to tell you that your wife treated me badly. 467 00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:49,313 I stayed only for the old man. So stay far away from me. 468 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:53,036 - Do you have a infectious disease? - Pretend that I do not exist. 469 00:34:53,240 --> 00:34:58,314 You should not be offended by what my wife said. 470 00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:05,119 The psychiatrist says she is suffering from a depressive, amnesia thing. 471 00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:08,676 It means she talks a lot of bullshit, then she forgets about it. 472 00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,793 - It's really that bad? - Of course! 473 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,037 It is a congenital disease. 474 00:35:14,240 --> 00:35:18,916 My brother in law at 18 is very tall but not right in the head. 475 00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:24,513 Their chromosomes are not flat like any other, they are elongated... 476 00:35:24,720 --> 00:35:30,716 ...So there's nothing in here... Our son... I'm sorry. 477 00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:36,916 Our son is beautiful, slender and she has reduced him a moron. 478 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,029 - At last! - Here is the spaghetti. 479 00:35:42,055 --> 00:35:44,737 Is it Al dente? *a play on words about him being a dentist* 480 00:35:44,820 --> 00:35:46,239 Occupational hazard! 481 00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:50,195 - For the second? - We'll decide later. 482 00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:53,119 Here the fish is exceptional. 483 00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:55,311 Thank you. 484 00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:05,911 Excuse me. 485 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:14,959 - Didn't you get amairiciana? - Yes. - Why is it white? 486 00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:19,154 Excuse me, it must be the humidity. I feel a little... 487 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:22,432 I decided to get you to work for me. 488 00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:25,837 You will be a fantastic dental technician. 489 00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:29,032 - You already have a helper. - Peppino? 490 00:36:29,240 --> 00:36:34,679 As I created him, so can I destroy him. When I want, I'll fire him. 491 00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:37,315 Together we can do many things. 492 00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:40,956 That is the mission of the dentist . 493 00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:47,714 When old men arrive with gums full of pus... 494 00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:52,915 ...we do a good job and we feel better. 495 00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:56,670 When they have bleeding gums, blood cells... 496 00:36:56,880 --> 00:37:01,829 - You're not eating? - No thanks. I lost my appitete. 497 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:05,715 I detached more of them. Have them examined well. 498 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:11,120 - Call me tomorrow... why is it always busy? - It's a bar. 499 00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:15,393 - Act casual when you leave. - What a situation! 500 00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:24,070 - Good morning. - Good morning. 501 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:27,193 I could not help it. 502 00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:31,519 I hate bad things, harassment... 503 00:37:31,720 --> 00:37:36,317 You were too hard on that poor girl. 504 00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:40,309 You're right, uncle. Your will be done. 505 00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:46,198 - "As in heaven, so on earth." - Do you know what my will is? 506 00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:49,313 - Have you met the notary? - Yup. 507 00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:53,309 - All my goods are back... - To whom? 508 00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:57,912 - To the Discalced Carmelites. - It's a fixation! 509 00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:03,559 Before coming here did you have a shoe factory? 510 00:38:04,220 --> 00:38:06,480 - Unless... - What? 511 00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:10,011 Those who want to understand... understand. 512 00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:16,275 A bit of champagne... 513 00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:22,512 A bit of tamarind, so it looks like Coke... 514 00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:30,119 - Still champagne... - She drank three, she'll be sick. 515 00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:32,311 Do not worry! 516 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,956 If they drink, they become more relaxed. 517 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:44,314 One, two... three and four! Go! 518 00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:46,909 - Are you sure? - Go on! 519 00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:54,514 - Here's another one. - I'm really thirsty tonight! 520 00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:58,392 I like Coca-Cola very much. 521 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:03,792 This song is nice! Let's go dance. 522 00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:11,351 My head is spinning! 523 00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:14,552 It's not my head, it's the hall! 524 00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:19,991 We should go out to the car. 525 00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:23,591 No, I want to dance. Come on! 526 00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:29,711 What would you like to do in the car? 527 00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:33,709 Be alone together and... 528 00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:35,911 ...do a little kissing. 529 00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:45,036 - Like this? - Yes, like that or... 530 00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:47,911 Even better. 531 00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,311 Like this? 532 00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:58,072 I knew it, it works! 533 00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:15,553 - Goodnight. - Goodnight? - What's up? 534 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:17,797 Goodnight kiss? 535 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,560 - See you tomorrow. - All right bye. 536 00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,914 - Good evening. - Good evening Miss. 537 00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:50,112 - I did not think you would come. - Why? 538 00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:53,551 Last night I was a fool. 539 00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:57,116 - It happens to everyone don't worry. - Here they are! 540 00:40:57,320 --> 00:41:01,314 You are a nice girl, the problem is my husband. 541 00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:05,639 - He's an animal, a sex maniac. - Swine. 542 00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:11,518 - He did not do anything wrong. - Do not be enchanted by him. 543 00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:16,317 - It's fine and besides I have a boyfriend. - Wonderful! 544 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:18,511 - Excuse me. - Yes. 545 00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:24,911 Mr. Saverio. 546 00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,589 - Mr. Saverio! - Beautiful! 547 00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:31,236 - Beautiful and lovely! - I have to give you some medicine. 548 00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:34,910 You can give me whatever you want! 549 00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:38,317 No thanks. I take it without water. 550 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:45,912 Actually without water it's a bit difficult. 551 00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:51,398 I light the heater, she undresses and leans over her. 552 00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:53,716 A giant sleeping tree! 553 00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:59,313 She planted herself right in front of the goal! 554 00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:02,512 But I'm a horny dentist! Damn! 555 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:10,914 Good rigatoni! I want more! 556 00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:37,392 Why did I decide to live in the penthouse? 557 00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,596 It's high! 558 00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:50,913 St. Pancrazio of the terrace! 559 00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:39,639 What a beautiful dream! 560 00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:00,989 It's hot! 561 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:06,718 The horrible indigestion. I told him it was too much! 562 00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:09,480 He says: "Eat, it's good". 563 00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:16,678 It's good, I know. The last of rigatone always screws you! 564 00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:21,111 Stay calm. 565 00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:26,471 I'll just let in some fresh air. 566 00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:29,832 No! It is not possible! 567 00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:39,676 (nonsensical medical jargon) 568 00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:55,433 I can't take it anymore! 569 00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:01,355 It's hot. 570 00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:03,551 It's hot! 571 00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:08,713 How many are there? 572 00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:14,276 All naked! Beautiful! 573 00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:29,359 - It's nothing, stay calm. - I saw two great big ... 574 00:46:30,720 --> 00:46:33,519 - It was a nightmare. - Two nightmares! 575 00:46:33,720 --> 00:46:36,997 - Stay calm. - Yes, I'm going to sleep. 576 00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:40,318 I'm sleepy! My beautiful baby! 577 00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:43,512 Where is this heat coming from? 578 00:46:45,520 --> 00:46:48,512 As if it isn't hot enough? 579 00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:52,909 Miss! 580 00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:55,236 - Carlo! - Angela! 581 00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:01,996 - How the fuck did you know where I work? - This is my home. 582 00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:05,192 - Your home? - Yes, it's my house. 583 00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:11,118 - You're the famous nurse! - Famous? Why? 584 00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:14,151 - In my house we do not talk about anything else. 585 00:47:14,177 --> 00:47:16,943 - Give me a kiss. - No! Your uncle! 586 00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:19,111 He's probably already dead. 587 00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:26,711 Carletto. Carletto, can you hear me? 588 00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:31,915 Answer me! Come out here, there's a nurse with a great set of tits... 589 00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:36,910 She's half naked! Are you listening to me? Son of a bitch, at least answer me! 590 00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:41,830 Do not make me scream, you're mother is flat... 591 00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:44,350 Flat and mean! 592 00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:46,551 She's not flat. 593 00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:50,911 Is that her? 594 00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:55,515 Damn! I had never noticed it. 595 00:47:55,720 --> 00:47:58,917 I never saw you in this light. 596 00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:03,114 Look at all that! Blessed Mary of the Coronation! 597 00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:09,511 Where do I start? 598 00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:12,917 I'll take you like this, put you in your arms... 599 00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:16,909 ...I put your legs on my shoulder. 600 00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:19,509 I'll take you and I'll do... 601 00:48:19,720 --> 00:48:22,712 No, let's stay here, we're more comfortable. 602 00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:27,112 You do not know what I'm going to do to you, Blessed Madonna! 603 00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:28,913 Love! 604 00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:49,912 What's going on in my studio? It's you! 605 00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:52,714 - You must warn me when you're coming. - Give me a kiss. 606 00:48:53,720 --> 00:48:56,917 - What's wrong? - Nothing, everything... 607 00:48:57,120 --> 00:49:02,718 I spent some time... I can not take it anymore, I'm on empty. 608 00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:08,916 Last night my wife was like a teenager and now I'm in pieces. 609 00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:14,718 I came down here and you're telling me you cannot do it? You're wasting my time.. 610 00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:18,311 I can not make love on command. 611 00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:23,310 Now calm down and relax. I'll care for your gingivitis... 612 00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:25,955 ...let's have a nice filling... 613 00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:30,711 - No, filling excites me. - You're just a dirty guy! 614 00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:34,709 - Who is it? - Lucia! 615 00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:37,116 My wife! Hurry! 616 00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:41,314 One moment! Get your stuff. 617 00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:45,753 - My love! - A moment! I'm preparing an injection. 618 00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:50,512 - In here. Saint Lucia, save me! - Nicola! 619 00:49:50,720 --> 00:49:57,717 Here I am! I'm preparing an injection with a new drug. 620 00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:03,392 - Peekaboo! - I was preparing the thing... 621 00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:07,719 - I made you egg cream. - You didn't have to do that. - Yes, yes. 622 00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:11,515 After last night how are you doing? TICHI TICHI! 623 00:50:11,720 --> 00:50:14,712 - TACO TACO! - Boogie-woogie! - Rock and roll! 624 00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:18,515 - Here is the kingdom of my Nicolino! - Nicolino. 625 00:50:18,720 --> 00:50:21,155 - Ah, ah! - Oh, oh! 626 00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:25,718 - Are you mocking me? Naughty boy! - Hussy! - What's in there? 627 00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:30,710 - There is where Peppino works, it's rubbish! - I want to see. 628 00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:35,153 - There are mice and a cat with a mustache... - Come on! 629 00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:44,317 - What's going on here! - It's a scandal, a shame! 630 00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:48,229 Wicked! Here's what you do in my studio! 631 00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:51,512 In a sacred study where I receive patients. 632 00:50:51,720 --> 00:50:56,840 ...instead you receive these women... - What women? - Normal women. 633 00:50:57,040 --> 00:51:00,317 I'll eat your ear! I give you 50,000 lire. 634 00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:02,193 - 75,000. - All right. 635 00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:05,233 Do not get angry, it not good for you. 636 00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:08,273 This unfortunate man said "75" to me! 637 00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:12,519 - What? - He brought 75 women here! 638 00:51:12,720 --> 00:51:17,954 - Why did you do it? - I fell in love. - In love! 639 00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:20,993 If he is in love, he is not to blame. 640 00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:24,318 - I'm leaving! - Why? 641 00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:29,720 Do not go away like this, let's be reasonable and settle the situation. 642 00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:32,912 - Chickenshit Toothpuller! - Goodbye, pussycat. 643 00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:37,318 - She called you "Chickenshit Toothpuller" - Really? 644 00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:42,720 - Yes! -Young lady, I'll break your bones! 645 00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:48,313 - Nicola, Calm! You'll hurt yourself! - I will break this syringe in her mouth! 646 00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:53,435 All right. To calm down, you have to breathe deeply. 647 00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:56,999 Another one! 648 00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,116 Attention please! 649 00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:31,110 Tonight at 10:30pm there will be a couples dance competition! 650 00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:34,915 To the winning couple will win 2,000 lire offered by me... 651 00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:38,909 ...and a trophy from the disco. 652 00:52:39,120 --> 00:52:42,112 And the other fantastic prizes! 653 00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:45,119 I'll see you at 10:30pm! 654 00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:48,711 Now go back to dancing, no more like animals... 655 00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:52,231 ...but as lovers. 656 00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:06,912 - A pity we can not come. - Yeah! 657 00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:11,114 You do not know how sorry I am. Say you're sick. 658 00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:15,314 - Your father would immediately look for me. - Yes that's true. 659 00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:20,718 Any idiot is free to go out at night and we can't! 660 00:53:22,520 --> 00:53:24,511 It's not my fault. 661 00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:32,713 Speaking of idiots! I had an idea. 662 00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:35,196 A fabulous idea! 663 00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:37,516 What? 664 00:53:37,720 --> 00:53:40,712 - Tell me! - You'll see it will work. 665 00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:42,911 I'm sure! 666 00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:49,319 Beautiful! Darling! 667 00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:54,515 I'd like some water, I'm so thirsty. Come to me, beautiful. 668 00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:57,391 Dear! 669 00:53:57,600 --> 00:54:00,558 Thanks, my sweetheart! 670 00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:08,239 There she is! Beautiful! 671 00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:15,196 Beautiful! Can you give me water? Didn't you understand it was an excuse? 672 00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:19,712 I did it only to see your delicate hands! 673 00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:23,914 Your hands... velvety. Your hands... 674 00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:27,511 Your hands? What hands are these? 675 00:54:27,720 --> 00:54:29,870 Hey! Who are you? 676 00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:33,516 Who are you? You have a beard, you are a man. 677 00:54:33,720 --> 00:54:38,715 They asked me to replace her, but do not tell the doctor! 678 00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:42,311 - I will not tell him anything. What are you, hitting on me? - No! 679 00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:46,514 - I'll kill you! You are a policeman! - No! 680 00:54:46,720 --> 00:54:51,112 - So you're a thief! - I'm here to earn something. 681 00:54:51,320 --> 00:54:55,632 - You do not even look like a dying person. - What do you care? - Nothing! 682 00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:04,275 - Doctor, I have to talk to you. - Aren't you ashamed? 683 00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:06,551 Yes! Come inside. 684 00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:10,320 - Come! - But your husband... 685 00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:14,718 - He's fighting, he'll be busy for 15 rounds. - All right! 686 00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:36,516 Is it your husband? 687 00:55:36,720 --> 00:55:38,711 No, he has a key. 688 00:55:42,720 --> 00:55:46,554 - Hello. - Hi, Manolo. - I brought you back your husband. 689 00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:53,672 He went down in the first round. In an hour he will be better. 690 00:55:57,160 --> 00:56:00,198 How are you? Poor thing! 691 00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:02,960 You're so stubborn! 692 00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:07,438 I always tell you, but you insist, you want to do boxing. 693 00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:10,712 Anyway, you still have me all to yourself for an hour! 694 00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:16,472 - He is gone. That guy! - He's not used to your lifestyle. 695 00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:19,672 - I'm worried about Carlo. - Why? 696 00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:23,509 He went out suddenly, at night, all alone... 697 00:56:23,720 --> 00:56:28,920 He is not a child, he will manage. And then we too are alone. 698 00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:34,118 - We are not alone, my uncle is here. - What do you care? He is dying. 699 00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:37,597 - And where would you put the nurse? - I would put her ... 700 00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:42,514 She must stay near the old man. We drink a whiskey... 701 00:56:42,720 --> 00:56:45,712 ...so we get excited like angry dogs. 702 00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:50,710 - We will be engrossed! - You know that whiskey makes me sick. 703 00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:54,231 That's why I give it to you, to make you more excited. 704 00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:56,431 We'll do it nine times! 705 00:56:59,120 --> 00:57:01,555 - With ice or without? - With ice. 706 00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:06,118 - Lots of ice! - No, it's better without ice. 707 00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:08,311 It is more exciting. 708 00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:13,310 The day we got engaged we exchanged glasses. 709 00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:18,310 - I do not remember. - Do you remember the toast at the wedding? 710 00:57:18,520 --> 00:57:23,310 We said, upstairs, downstairs, down the hatch. 711 00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:25,636 - Little finger! - Little finger! 712 00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:04,192 Ok! Ok! Ok! 713 00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:08,712 Let's hear it for the couple number 2! 714 00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:11,711 Very good! 715 00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:18,314 Now, ladies and gentlemen, let's call the couple number 6 to the dance-floor... 716 00:58:18,520 --> 00:58:21,319 Please welcome... 717 00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:23,511 Where is it? Here it is! 718 00:58:23,720 --> 00:58:27,634 Carlo Pischella and Angela Della Torre! 719 00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:37,716 - Are you scared? - No! 720 01:00:06,120 --> 01:00:10,318 Come on guys! The winners will be awarded by the mayor. 721 01:00:27,360 --> 01:00:30,352 It took total anesthesia for her! 722 01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:35,432 I understand you're big, Lucia but... 723 01:00:36,320 --> 01:00:38,709 He's already a goner. 724 01:00:38,920 --> 01:00:41,673 Angela! My angel! 725 01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:47,393 You do not answer? I know you're shy, let me talk. 726 01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:52,515 I'll say everything. You must realize that I am in love with you. 727 01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:59,120 I'm losing my mind! I have not been able to concentrate for the last few days. 728 01:00:59,320 --> 01:01:02,756 - My wife, the corpse... - (Mumbling) 729 01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:08,353 My Love! My Beautiful! You drive Me crazy! What a beautiful nose, what lips! 730 01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:14,911 I would like tell you that I love you like in American movies. 731 01:01:20,320 --> 01:01:23,517 I'm horny like a madman! 732 01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:26,155 Turn around, love. 733 01:01:28,120 --> 01:01:30,680 Beautiful, fresh, firm! 734 01:01:31,760 --> 01:01:35,310 What a thigh! You must work out! 735 01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:42,196 Now I crawl to the other side, like a panther. 736 01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:46,394 In this commotion let's uncork the bottle. A toast! 737 01:01:46,600 --> 01:01:50,309 Let's have a nice toast, it will help us in frolic. 738 01:01:50,520 --> 01:01:54,354 If you're horny in Martina Franca, drink Blanc de Blanc. 739 01:02:00,920 --> 01:02:05,153 - Wet love, lucky love. - Right? 740 01:02:05,400 --> 01:02:10,713 - Who is it? You were not dead? - Ugly dirty! 741 01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:15,915 Are not you ashamed at your age to harass that creature? 742 01:02:16,120 --> 01:02:19,795 If you're going to be like that, I'm going away. Bye sweetheart. 743 01:02:20,920 --> 01:02:24,197 Next time mind your own fucking business! 744 01:02:24,400 --> 01:02:26,914 Thanks, I hate that guy! 745 01:02:27,120 --> 01:02:32,911 And now I call the winner of the third prize on the platform... 746 01:02:33,120 --> 01:02:37,910 ...that is, couple number 1! 747 01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:43,229 Ok! Ok! Good applause! 748 01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:45,192 Very well! 749 01:02:45,400 --> 01:02:49,598 And now the winner of the second prize... 750 01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:52,189 Couple number 4! 751 01:02:53,480 --> 01:02:55,471 Applause! 752 01:02:58,320 --> 01:03:03,269 Now I will call the winner of the first prize... 753 01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:08,156 ...that is, the couple number 6! 754 01:03:13,920 --> 01:03:15,911 Thank you! 755 01:03:16,920 --> 01:03:24,475 A moment of attention, guys! Please be quiet! 756 01:03:25,480 --> 01:03:31,715 As usual, the glorious disco "lo e Valentino"... 757 01:03:31,920 --> 01:03:35,914 ...never disappoints and the beautiful winner of tonight... 758 01:03:36,120 --> 01:03:41,115 ...has the right to perform in a song. Do you want to sing? 759 01:07:00,720 --> 01:07:05,749 Two who love each other do not live only on dances and walks. 760 01:07:05,960 --> 01:07:09,715 Do you think we can manage to spend a little time alone? 761 01:07:09,920 --> 01:07:15,313 - One of these nights I ask Peppino. - What if your mother finds out? 762 01:07:15,520 --> 01:07:20,117 A friend of mine has a small apartment, but it's far away. 763 01:07:20,320 --> 01:07:23,119 We should go to Foggia. 764 01:07:23,320 --> 01:07:28,315 If you did not have so many scruples, we could go to a motel. 765 01:07:28,520 --> 01:07:32,514 I know, they ask us for the documents, it's embarrassing... 766 01:07:32,720 --> 01:07:38,716 ...but with a little courage, it's not such a bad thing. 767 01:07:38,920 --> 01:07:42,231 Sweetheart! You fell asleep? 768 01:07:48,320 --> 01:07:53,235 - Are you sure it does not hurt? - No, it's easy. 769 01:07:53,440 --> 01:07:57,434 - What's this? - It can take the mold of the teeth. 770 01:07:57,640 --> 01:08:03,238 - Be calm. - Are you sure it does not hurt? - Yup! 771 01:08:03,440 --> 01:08:05,431 I'll take care of that. 772 01:08:08,320 --> 01:08:11,312 Ok. Bite down. 773 01:08:11,520 --> 01:08:15,718 Hold it! Guard right, guard left! 774 01:08:15,920 --> 01:08:17,319 Look up! 775 01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:23,118 Peppino, I've been calling you for half an hour! Uncle Saverio must speak to you. 776 01:08:23,320 --> 01:08:28,315 - What are you doing? - Making an impression of the gentleman. - Hurry up. 777 01:08:28,520 --> 01:08:33,913 - Open your mouth. It's stuck! - If you leave , it will harden. 778 01:08:34,120 --> 01:08:37,112 Do not do these anymore. I will handle them. 779 01:08:37,320 --> 01:08:40,711 - Excuse me, he's not used to doing these . - The doctor will fix it. 780 01:08:45,520 --> 01:08:49,309 - What have you done? - Nothing! 781 01:08:49,520 --> 01:08:53,991 - Where did you get the mixture? - In the drawer. - That's cement! 782 01:08:55,920 --> 01:08:57,911 Sorry! 783 01:09:00,720 --> 01:09:04,793 - I'm going to Uncle Saverio. - Yes, otherwise I'll break your bones. 784 01:09:05,000 --> 01:09:09,710 Do not complain! At the bottom these teeth were crap. 785 01:09:09,920 --> 01:09:13,356 Now we can't fix with eight million cables. 786 01:09:34,920 --> 01:09:37,912 They are good, aren't they? 787 01:09:38,120 --> 01:09:41,317 - Who is it? - I do not know. 788 01:09:41,520 --> 01:09:43,909 - Who is it? - Police! 789 01:09:44,120 --> 01:09:47,112 - No one's home! - Idiots, it's me! Open up! 790 01:09:47,320 --> 01:09:50,950 Go open it! It is Alfredo. 791 01:09:54,480 --> 01:09:55,800 Here you are! 792 01:09:56,000 --> 01:10:01,234 Morons! you hear "police", you shit in your pants. 793 01:10:01,440 --> 01:10:05,195 Why did you come here during the day? 794 01:10:05,400 --> 01:10:07,960 During the day?? 795 01:10:08,160 --> 01:10:12,313 At night I have to act like Muhammad. 796 01:10:12,520 --> 01:10:18,516 The mountain did not come to him so he went to the mountain. 797 01:10:18,720 --> 01:10:20,916 What does that have to do with anything? 798 01:10:21,120 --> 01:10:26,513 You were supposed to come see me instead of sending him. 799 01:10:26,720 --> 01:10:31,715 Every time he comes, I have to make a new will. 800 01:10:31,920 --> 01:10:36,915 I went to Bari to show him the stones. 801 01:10:37,120 --> 01:10:39,509 What did they tell you? 802 01:10:39,720 --> 01:10:43,759 - He had a good laugh. - Why? 803 01:10:43,960 --> 01:10:48,193 He said that it was a slap in the face, it's glass! 804 01:10:48,400 --> 01:10:50,960 - No! - Yes! 805 01:10:51,160 --> 01:10:53,310 What a situation! 806 01:10:53,520 --> 01:10:56,638 The situation, is a bloody mess! 807 01:10:57,480 --> 01:11:00,518 I thought I succeeded. 808 01:11:00,720 --> 01:11:05,920 After so much effort, so much trouble ... while you have a good time! 809 01:11:06,120 --> 01:11:10,990 Yes, look what a hoot! It's a fucking dump! 810 01:11:11,200 --> 01:11:14,909 How is it possible that you do not recognize a fake? 811 01:11:15,120 --> 01:11:21,514 - It's a piece of glass! - I did not come to have fun! 812 01:11:21,720 --> 01:11:23,950 I work at night... 813 01:11:24,160 --> 01:11:27,915 ...in the dark, without light... 814 01:11:28,120 --> 01:11:32,114 ...on a chair, even under a table... 815 01:11:32,320 --> 01:11:35,711 ...because every night I fall. 816 01:11:36,520 --> 01:11:39,273 I plucked that chandelier like a chicken! 817 01:11:39,480 --> 01:11:45,795 Alfredo, you do not understand anything! Baghetti has cheated you! 818 01:11:46,000 --> 01:11:52,110 I will not allow you to offend the memory of Saverio Baghetti! 819 01:11:52,320 --> 01:11:54,311 He was a great man. 820 01:11:54,520 --> 01:11:58,514 I still seem to see him on his deathbed... 821 01:11:58,720 --> 01:12:05,114 ...when he told me: "Alfredo, I must tell you a secret "... 822 01:12:05,320 --> 01:12:10,315 "In the house of my niece Lucia, back in 1942..." 823 01:12:10,520 --> 01:12:15,515 "... I hid a 45-carat diamond in the chandelier." 824 01:12:15,720 --> 01:12:21,193 "It's worth a fortune, and nobody knows, it's a big secret." 825 01:12:21,400 --> 01:12:23,710 I get emotional thinking about it. 826 01:12:23,920 --> 01:12:29,313 "It's a secret, not even my niece, Lucia, knows." 827 01:12:29,520 --> 01:12:34,310 "You, my Alfredo, you must tell my niece Lucia." 828 01:12:34,520 --> 01:12:37,319 "You must tell her!" 829 01:12:37,520 --> 01:12:41,309 Do I tell his niece? What am I crazy? 830 01:12:41,520 --> 01:12:46,117 Do I tell his niece about a 45-carat diamond? 831 01:12:46,320 --> 01:12:53,317 He's not gonna rip me off, I'm gonna rip off his niece. 832 01:12:53,520 --> 01:12:56,319 I'll take the diamond! 833 01:12:56,520 --> 01:12:59,751 - Meanwhile he is dead. - Who cares! 834 01:12:59,960 --> 01:13:04,113 How did you get out? They will notice you are gone! 835 01:13:04,320 --> 01:13:07,358 Do you think I'm stupid? I organized everything. 836 01:13:07,560 --> 01:13:10,200 I left a friend in my place. 837 01:13:20,920 --> 01:13:23,116 Beautiful. 838 01:13:23,320 --> 01:13:27,314 But with this general anesthesia will sleep deeply. 839 01:13:27,520 --> 01:13:34,358 - No need, he has not even moved. - It's better that the elephant sleeps. 840 01:13:45,120 --> 01:13:47,316 He has a disgusting skin! 841 01:13:47,520 --> 01:13:51,514 In my opinion he wont live to see the morning. Also he shrunk... 842 01:13:51,720 --> 01:13:55,714 But I hope he holds on, because tomorrow will change the will. 843 01:13:55,920 --> 01:14:00,915 - But I can not resist anymore. - But... - I have to tell you how I feel! 844 01:14:01,120 --> 01:14:06,115 Beautiful! We continue from where we stopped the other night. 845 01:14:08,920 --> 01:14:12,231 Excuse me, it was an instinctive reaction. 846 01:14:29,920 --> 01:14:34,596 - Who is it? - I'm here. get up. - The wig! 847 01:14:34,800 --> 01:14:36,996 Also take a beard. 848 01:14:40,160 --> 01:14:43,596 - Take this, I'm going to bed. - Me too. 849 01:14:46,320 --> 01:14:49,312 I can never sleep in peace! 850 01:14:57,320 --> 01:15:01,314 Mr. Saverio, how are you? 851 01:15:01,520 --> 01:15:03,909 How am I? So-so. 852 01:15:05,320 --> 01:15:10,156 - You are something else. - What do you mean? 853 01:15:10,360 --> 01:15:13,591 Come in and out when you want. 854 01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:17,316 Come in and go out? I'm too ill... 855 01:15:17,520 --> 01:15:22,833 Enough of this farce! Who are you and where did you go? 856 01:15:25,320 --> 01:15:27,311 Ok I'll tell you. 857 01:15:28,120 --> 01:15:32,318 - I went to have X-rays taken. - You are fine. 858 01:15:32,520 --> 01:15:35,512 Why do you pretend to be sick? 859 01:15:35,720 --> 01:15:38,314 Ok I'll tell you. 860 01:15:38,520 --> 01:15:42,514 I went to... I went... 861 01:15:42,720 --> 01:15:48,318 I am very rich and these are my only relatives. 862 01:15:48,520 --> 01:15:52,957 But I do not know them, I do not know how they will use my legacy. 863 01:15:53,160 --> 01:15:58,633 I faked myself sick to study their reactions. 864 01:15:58,840 --> 01:16:00,751 But you went out. 865 01:16:00,960 --> 01:16:05,670 I went for... I took a walk! 866 01:16:06,920 --> 01:16:12,518 You, did it too, last night... Did you think I didn't notice? 867 01:16:12,720 --> 01:16:14,996 Did you tell anyone? 868 01:16:15,200 --> 01:16:20,559 I said nothing! I'm not crazy. I did not say anything... 869 01:16:20,760 --> 01:16:25,197 ...Because you are a nice and beautiful girl and you will not betray me. 870 01:16:25,400 --> 01:16:28,518 - True? - Ok. 871 01:16:28,720 --> 01:16:32,714 - I will not say anything. - You will not regret it. Nice... 872 01:16:32,920 --> 01:16:36,550 ...Beautiful and sweet! 873 01:16:37,520 --> 01:16:42,310 - Carlo, are you Busy? - No. - I have to talk to you. - What is it. 874 01:16:42,520 --> 01:16:45,319 - Look at me! - What is it? 875 01:16:45,520 --> 01:16:48,990 You have to face reality... sorry. 876 01:16:49,200 --> 01:16:55,310 The situation is complicated. You have to look me in the face and follow me. 877 01:16:55,520 --> 01:17:03,109 There are three problems. First: the sick uncle has already cost 7,857,000 lire 878 01:17:03,320 --> 01:17:07,518 Second: the son of a bitch has changed his will. 879 01:17:07,720 --> 01:17:10,758 He willed everything to the night nurse. 880 01:17:10,960 --> 01:17:16,512 - The third problem can only be solved by you. - Why me? 881 01:17:16,720 --> 01:17:19,109 Now I'll explain. It's all in here. 882 01:17:19,320 --> 01:17:25,510 Do you remember how many times I told you that the nurse is beautiful? 883 01:17:25,720 --> 01:17:30,715 - Every time I see her, I get excited. - So you like her. 884 01:17:30,920 --> 01:17:35,710 - Is there something wrong? - No. - I'll get to the point. 885 01:17:35,920 --> 01:17:39,914 She says that although I'm a handsome man... 886 01:17:40,120 --> 01:17:44,318 ...she would prefer a younger man, a like you. 887 01:17:44,520 --> 01:17:49,993 I created you, you are my son. Beautiful, perfect! Teeth? 888 01:17:50,200 --> 01:17:53,113 - Beautiful. - Leave it alone, dad! 889 01:17:53,320 --> 01:17:58,315 Are you my child or not? I am 43 years old and I am still full of life! 890 01:17:58,520 --> 01:18:02,514 Go to the girl and say, "I am the dentist's son". 891 01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:06,679 "What a handsome boy, you look like your father." And then... 892 01:18:08,920 --> 01:18:12,117 - I did not understand what you want from me. - I'll tell you. 893 01:18:12,320 --> 01:18:17,520 - You go to her and get her pregnant. - Pregnant? - Yup. 894 01:18:18,920 --> 01:18:22,515 - How can I do? - The usual way 895 01:18:22,720 --> 01:18:26,554 You... just get her pregnant! 896 01:18:27,920 --> 01:18:32,118 - We can not in front of him! - He sleeps deeply. 897 01:18:32,320 --> 01:18:36,917 It would be disrespectful, he's a dying man. 898 01:18:37,120 --> 01:18:42,957 - No, he will recover besides our love will bring him good luck. - You are awful! 899 01:18:43,160 --> 01:18:47,518 - You always want to do it your way. - Don't you mean "our way"? 900 01:18:47,720 --> 01:18:49,154 He got up! 901 01:18:50,920 --> 01:18:54,914 - Wait, you need help. Where are you going? - To the bathroom. 902 01:18:55,080 --> 01:19:00,473 - Do you want me to accompany you? - No thanks. I'm feeling better. 903 01:19:00,680 --> 01:19:03,240 - I'll take you there. - No! 904 01:19:03,440 --> 01:19:06,558 - I’ll just be sitting there. - With the flashlight? 905 01:19:06,760 --> 01:19:09,718 - Is there a line? - No, the flashlight? 906 01:19:09,920 --> 01:19:15,632 Just in case the lights go out. 907 01:20:52,120 --> 01:20:55,476 Uncle Saverio! Come on! 908 01:21:01,920 --> 01:21:06,118 I can't work on this marble, it's too slippery! 909 01:21:06,320 --> 01:21:09,312 - Who is it? - Uncle! -Ay! 910 01:21:09,520 --> 01:21:13,309 - You fell? - No, I got up! 911 01:21:13,520 --> 01:21:15,955 Of course I fell? 912 01:21:16,160 --> 01:21:21,109 Fortunately, I grabbed the chandelier! 913 01:21:21,320 --> 01:21:25,837 - Your parents did not hear? - Dad will have drugged my mom. - Ouch! 914 01:21:35,920 --> 01:21:41,393 - Good morning. - What did I forget? - Your panties. 915 01:21:42,520 --> 01:21:45,114 I don't wear any. 916 01:21:45,360 --> 01:21:48,352 - So who's are these? - Oh yes! 917 01:21:48,560 --> 01:21:51,916 Nicola likes me in these underwear. Thank you! 918 01:21:52,080 --> 01:21:54,276 It was a pleasure. 919 01:22:06,400 --> 01:22:10,633 - You are kind. - You are hot! - Your boss is exploiting you, isn't he?" 920 01:22:10,840 --> 01:22:14,231 No, but he neglects me because of women. 921 01:22:14,440 --> 01:22:19,719 - Women! What women? - I do not count them anymore. 922 01:22:19,920 --> 01:22:22,992 - Fucking pig! Thanks bye. - See you later. 923 01:22:24,880 --> 01:22:27,838 My tie! Madam, my tie! 924 01:22:28,040 --> 01:22:29,917 Mrs! 925 01:22:34,200 --> 01:22:36,316 Mrs. Zaira! 926 01:22:36,520 --> 01:22:41,310 I gave you your panties, you give me my tie! 927 01:22:49,520 --> 01:22:53,115 - Did you fall in love with me by chance? - Yup! 928 01:22:53,320 --> 01:22:55,436 You could have just said so. 929 01:22:58,920 --> 01:23:03,312 I would do well to betray that pig! 930 01:23:05,720 --> 01:23:09,315 Come, loverboy! Zaira will take care of you. Hop in. 931 01:23:09,520 --> 01:23:12,876 - Yes! - You won't be disappointed.. 932 01:23:27,920 --> 01:23:32,073 Giacomino, come in! Take this chandelier away. 933 01:23:32,280 --> 01:23:36,717 - I leave you to it, I'm busy. - Go ahead. 934 01:23:36,920 --> 01:23:38,911 Bye. 935 01:23:47,560 --> 01:23:50,712 - Did something happen? - No. 936 01:23:50,920 --> 01:23:55,118 - We are fond of you and are you thinking about Carlo ?- Yes. 937 01:23:55,320 --> 01:23:59,314 - But I do not need to come here anymore. - He's dead? 938 01:23:59,520 --> 01:24:05,471 - No, he's healed. - He healed and did not tell us? Let's go. 939 01:24:07,120 --> 01:24:11,512 Some kind of priest! This brings good luck. 940 01:24:13,720 --> 01:24:15,631 See you later! 941 01:24:17,400 --> 01:24:19,994 Uncle! You're really all better! 942 01:24:20,200 --> 01:24:24,910 - How did this happen? - It's hard to explain it. 943 01:24:25,120 --> 01:24:29,557 - Something happened to me... - What? - It's better not to say! 944 01:24:29,760 --> 01:24:32,115 An apparition! 945 01:24:32,320 --> 01:24:35,199 - It appeared... St. sucker... - Who? 946 01:24:36,200 --> 01:24:38,316 St. Nicholas! Do you know him? 947 01:24:38,520 --> 01:24:41,512 Of course. St. Nicola Pischella, martyr and dental technician. 948 01:24:41,680 --> 01:24:47,517 - He told me: "Get up, walk..." - And poof. - I obeyed him. 949 01:24:47,720 --> 01:24:51,350 I did not want to sin and then I was healed. 950 01:24:51,560 --> 01:24:53,790 I'm so happy! 951 01:24:54,000 --> 01:24:57,709 I too, but I fear that you will send me away. 952 01:24:57,920 --> 01:25:02,118 - I was happy here. - No! Are you kidding? 953 01:25:02,320 --> 01:25:06,109 Here it is great, everything paid, full board... 954 01:25:06,320 --> 01:25:09,312 The nurse takes inheritance and I take gravely ill. 955 01:25:09,520 --> 01:25:13,798 Which light bulb does it take for the new chandelier? 956 01:25:14,000 --> 01:25:20,394 - What? - We changed the chandelier, the other was ugly. 957 01:25:20,600 --> 01:25:22,955 - It was my idea. - The diamond! 958 01:25:23,160 --> 01:25:26,516 - Yes, a brilliant idea. - No, the diamond! 959 01:25:26,720 --> 01:25:30,714 A 45-carat diamond hidden in the chandelier! 960 01:25:30,920 --> 01:25:35,312 - 45 carat chandeliers! - A diamond in the chandelier! 961 01:25:35,520 --> 01:25:38,672 - Oh! - Where is it? - I gave it to the junk-dealer! 962 01:25:44,520 --> 01:25:49,674 - Give us the stuff you took! - No, it's my stuff! 963 01:25:49,880 --> 01:25:52,793 - What'd you say? - Let's follow him. - Disgraceful! 964 01:25:59,600 --> 01:26:01,591 - Thank you. - Stop! 965 01:26:03,520 --> 01:26:07,115 - On the other side! - Doctor, are we taking a trip? 966 01:26:07,320 --> 01:26:10,517 Yes, a picnic! Get in, wretch! 967 01:26:10,720 --> 01:26:13,473 - Doctor! - Hurry up! 968 01:26:28,680 --> 01:26:32,514 - Where'd he go? Who? - I do not know him. 969 01:26:32,720 --> 01:26:35,155 He has the warehouse at the port. 970 01:26:35,360 --> 01:26:39,558 - Today I do not understand anything anymore! - Maybe the diamond is not there. 971 01:26:39,760 --> 01:26:44,197 No, it's there! Saverio told me before he died. 972 01:26:44,400 --> 01:26:47,518 - Saverio told him! - Saverio! - Told him! 973 01:26:47,720 --> 01:26:50,712 So you're not Saverio! 974 01:26:50,920 --> 01:26:55,198 - May a stroke take me if I'm not Saverio! - Disgraceful! 975 01:26:55,400 --> 01:26:59,917 - I knew right away that you were rotten! - You stink! 976 01:27:00,120 --> 01:27:02,919 - Colonel in Dire Daua! - What's the matter with you? 977 01:27:03,120 --> 01:27:07,239 - Then you're made up! - No! - Let me see! 978 01:27:08,320 --> 01:27:10,152 Even the beard! 979 01:27:10,360 --> 01:27:11,953 Wicked! 980 01:27:13,720 --> 01:27:15,552 Son of a bitch! 981 01:27:16,960 --> 01:27:19,839 I'll break your bones! I'm not an asshole! 982 01:27:21,800 --> 01:27:23,029 Watch where you are going! 983 01:27:40,720 --> 01:27:44,918 - Put down that stuff! - It's just a little doll! 984 01:27:45,120 --> 01:27:48,511 I wont give it to you, I'll throw it overboard! 985 01:27:48,720 --> 01:27:52,315 - No! - Disgraceful! It's your fault! 986 01:27:52,520 --> 01:27:55,797 I'm going to get it! Let me go! 987 01:27:58,520 --> 01:28:02,514 Is it deep? The shit I have to go through! 988 01:28:02,720 --> 01:28:05,792 - Peppino! - I can not swim! - You float! 989 01:28:06,000 --> 01:28:10,517 - I'm done. - Come back when my dad is here. - Goodbye. 990 01:28:22,080 --> 01:28:23,673 Finally alone! 991 01:28:32,520 --> 01:28:35,512 They should go out more often. 992 01:28:47,920 --> 01:28:51,231 I wonder why they ran so fast! 993 01:28:51,440 --> 01:28:53,636 Perhaps they were looking for this.